Don’t let your mind get the best of you during these difficult times
By: Paras Patel
We are in the midst of a unique, once-in-a-lifetime moment. From a public health standpoint, our society is facing a serious test of whether we can treat those who are ill with this virus while keeping the carriers from spreading it, all while researchers furiously try to develop viable treatments. From a financial standpoint, we are facing a challenge that could have a real impact on the savings of millions of people and on the jobs of millions more. From almost any perspective, COVID-19 is revealing both bright and ugly truths about our world, our society, and who we are as people. It’s not surprising, then, that our mental health is of upmost importance as we face this crisis. As we each think about how to best help our community during this time, let’s take a look at some strategies to maintain equanimity and optimism in the midst of uncertainty and chaos.
“To remain stable is to refrain from trying to separate yourself from a pain because you know that you cannot. Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is pain.” -- Alan Watts
First and foremost, I encourage you to acknowledge reality as it is. Don’t succumb to the usual temptation to ignore, downplay, or outright deny the situation. Having a “stiff upper lip” mentality will not be helpful during this time because it will cause you to ignore your own pain, which eventually leads to ignoring pain in others, and the regret and guilt that follows. Instead, acknowledge that you are feeling pain, and ask yourself, “How can I care for myself during this time?” By asking this simple question, you will see very clearly into a core aspect of who you are. You will catch a glimpse of the aspect of yourself that is vulnerable – the part that makes you uncomfortable but also the part that holds deep wisdom. Contemplate what you truly need during this time, and you will start to become at ease with yourself, no matter what the situation around you looks like. By being compassionate towards yourself, you will loosen the grip that fear has on you.
Second, cultivate gratitude. We live in an incredible society, and we are fortunate to have so many talented people taking care of those suffering from this virus. We have families, homes, and grocery stores (even if they are out of toilet paper). We can walk outside, breathe clean air, and hear the birds chirping in the morning. These simple pleasures can seem meaningless when things are going well, but when chaos arrives, they are life’s ultimate joy. Remember that you cannot grapple directly with negative, pessimistic thoughts; doing so just gives them more power. But you can cultivate positivity, and that can be enough to overwhelm even the darkest of thoughts. It takes discipline and effort, but cultivating gratitude can help you immensely when things seem bleak.
Third, take stock of your priorities. When we are facing a crisis, priorities have a way of becoming much clearer. Suddenly, that promotion or business deal that you were stressing about seems completely absurd, and you might find yourself focusing more on your family or other concerns. Take some time to think about what really matters to you the most, and take action based on that. If you need to clear the air with your parents, spouse, or child, now is the time to do it. Don’t let a crisis go to waste.
Fourth, recognize your common humanity with those around you. This situation affects every person in society, either directly or indirectly, and we’re all in the same boat. If you find that you are judging other people too harshly for their actions (or inaction), please realize that this just reflects internal divisions within yourself. When your mind isn’t organized properly, everything becomes all-or-nothing, leading to “us versus them” thinking. Avoid this, or you will quickly feel isolated, and this is not the time to move through life without a connection to the people around you. If anything, this situation has made it more obvious that there is a sizeable chunk of the population that doesn’t respond to moral condemnation, and you should keep that in mind when working with others.
Fifth, realize that your thoughts have power, and that your mind and body are one. The mind reflects the body, and vice-versa. Your immune system and your ability to heal therefore depend on the quality of your thinking. Low-level thoughts and emotions, such as anger, fear, insecurity, resentment, and vindictiveness are not friendly to your immune system. Think about times in your life when you were steeped in negativity: Were those particularly healthy moments? Chronic stress, which results from excessive amounts of negativity, suppresses your immune system and leaves you particularly vulnerable to infection. If you want to give yourself the best chance at fighting off an infection, cultivate joy, gratitude, and a focus on your higher-level goals in life. It takes a very focused mind to pull this off because negativity will tempt you at every turn. Please note that this doesn’t mean being fake – faking happiness is even worse than just being negative. If you feel terrible, give yourself permission to feel terrible. Once you fully accept the negativity, you can then see the positivity that was previously obscured. For those who are interested in meditation, I recommend that you try it out, because you will begin to understand this dynamic at an intuitive level.
Lastly, keep in mind that wisdom is generated from feelings of insecurity. The moments when it feels like the floor has been pulled out from under you, as if you are in free-fall, are those that lead you to life’s greatest treasures. To avoid this is to avoid one of the greatest opportunities that you have to wake up to the fundamental reality of your life. If you’ve been chasing dreams that never seem to materialize, or you wonder why your life hasn’t gotten to where you would like it to be, or you’re frustrated with your kids, remember that you have a chance to look at reality very directly during this unique time. Life is calling on us to search inward – to look at who we truly are without any self-deception.
I hope that you found this post helpful. Please feel free to reach out with any questions or comments.
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